The Self-Love Transformation
The Self-Love Transformation
How we feel about ourselves is vital. It is the number one important relationship to get as right as we can, because all our relationships with others will be based upon it.
Most of the time, we are taught by all the songs and the movies that we will finally find the love we need when someone else gives it to us. That when we finally get together it will all be ok, and the Love between us will somehow be a magical miracle and heal all our pain.
We spend years looking for that perfect ‘other’, hoping and wishing that they will take away our sense of being in a hole of aloneness, that they will somehow cancel out our secret fears of being unworthy or worries about looking ridiculous. We hope their love and acceptance will reach up inside us and make us better, recover and rescue us, and that we will finally be worth loving. We think, that their validation of us means that we find we are loveable, and not this terrible, awful, ‘less than’ person we might privately believe ourselves to be.
The problem is, that when we feel rubbish about ourselves, instead of attracting people who feel that they are fairly ok, we are magnetised towards others who also feel rubbish about themselves, and who are hoping that we, in our turn, will rescue them! This can add complications to any new relationship between us, as the unsaid hope is that ‘Together we can be ok now’.
We dream that the new relationship can cancel out our pain, bring us a vibrant shift and that as we declare our love, a plethora of perfect Joy will finally reach us!
Unfortunately, although Love can bring us the freedom of distraction, it also adds in issues of personal relating that we didn’t count on when the initial gold shine wears off. Suddenly, we find we are still left with ourselves, and that we can, at times, feel alone in a relationship.
This is not to say that Love with others is not a beautiful, wonderful thing, but, in order to fully participate in it and not be in a codependent mess, we do have to know and consider our own worth and value too and be able to give it to ourselves as well as hoping that others will provide our perfect personal miracle of love.
It can be a huge strain on a relationship to have to provide someone else with a sense of their own worth, and at a core level, is impossible to do for another . Unfortunately, this is really only something that can be done for ourselves, because even if someone else does love us, we don’t believe ourselves loveable intrinsically so we don’t really believe them when they tell us we are a divine, wonderful miracle to them.
This particular Transformation is an incredibly popular one, as we start to examine the personal patterns that get in the way of receiving our due. Evolutionary Light will enable our self worth to trickle up into our hearts, and this vibrant shift can bring in less fear of being alone or fear we’re intrinsically unloveable. As you start to believe you count, Evolutionary Light work can help us find some freedom within us, so that when we do get together with someone, the relationship has a chance of survival between us.
What gets in the way of us loving ourselves?
Some of the most common patterns that come up and that get in the way of us loving ourselves are:
- Expecting perfection from ourselves in our bodies, work and daily lives.
- Being hyper critical of ourselves when we make mistakes.
- Having a cruel, critical internal voice constantly set to what I call ‘ station Shit FM’ about who we are.
- Setting unrealistic expectations of ourselves or Moving goal posts so we never ‘there’ or are good enough.
- Not giving ourselves space to be who we are.
- Behaving towards ourselves like we are an enemy or judging ourselves incredibly harshly.
- Thinking that if others ‘really knew us’ they’d reject us.
- Allowing others to mistreat us as we ‘don’t deserve better’.
- Have a deep sense of shame about who we are for no discernible reason.
How exhausting it is for us, to live with this perfectionist approach to ourselves. It could be said that if we treated Others as we treat ourselves, we’d declare we should be prosecuted for crimes against humanity! Would you treat your best friend like you treat yourself? Probably not.
With these deep and painful messages running around unrestrained in our Psyche, No wonder we want other people to love us, fix it, and make it all ok.
This Transformation examines your self worth, the messages that you give to yourself, and enables you to find and develop a baseline of approval to yourself. It can enable you to consider your own personal worth, and that how you treat yourself now, does indeed count.
It will not remove for evermore the voice of self rejection so that you never feel funny about yourself ever again, as this isn’t a realistic goal, especially when some internal messages can have been built on years of self hatred or sabotage. However, it will help you up to be able to turn down the volume of what I call ‘ station Shit FM’ it is tuned to, and provide some respite from the ridiculous tide of constant self hate that we throw at ourselves. Self rejection can be at the core of our interactions, and it is so painful, and can make us feel very alone.
Some people, if their self hatred has particularly had great longevity or been really deep rooted, do this Transformation more than once to peel off the layers of self rejection we can carry.
Effect on Others
We can’t expect others to love us, if we can’t feel or accept their love, thinking ourselves unworthy. We can recover our sense of goodness, vibrancy and give ourselves an easier and kinder self view, which adds in our good bits as well as our challenges. If we are really wanting to find good connection between us, to reach a freedom in relationships where we now count , we must shift the inner critical voice that declares us ridiculous, unworthy or unlovable.
To cancel out the crisp, cold voice of Station ‘Shit FM’ we must be willing to believe the possibility that we might find freedom, and sovereignty from the plethora self annihilating thoughts that take over our minds when we make mistakes or are less than perfect.
Self loathing is such a deep and painful hole, but, when we give ourselves a break by being willing to believe that the crescendo of voices of self hate might be wrong we allow the trickling thoughts of freedom to help us recover. This enables us to start believing in us being ‘ok enough’ as people.
How does this Transformation work?
This Transformation can start to plug some of the holes in the colander that is ourselves, enable us to start to hold love, and believe that we are loveable, that we are worthy, that we do matter, we do count.
When we feel differently about ourselves, the standards that we expect for ourselves go up, we then begin to develop boundaries and then less tolerate situations that make us feel bad about ourselves, we begin to treat ourselves as if we deserve good things.
This vibrant shift can then draw towards us better experiences with the dynamics between us and others, as we begin to recover our worth and behave accordingly with that belief in our deep core. As This self sovereignty then assists you to feel that you count, you can begin to attract others who behave well towards you as you add this expectation of how you ought to be treated between you together in the future.
This Transformation unfolds over 4-6 weeks, (see How Evolutionary Light works) and looks at changing how you fundamentally feel about yourself at your core, the messages that you have about yourself and helps shift how you treat and care about yourself. It will look at increasing your own sense of Lovability and worth. See here on Self Care during Light Transformation.
This healing and somehow magical change can then support you in the types of Relationships you might then select in the future for yourself. Then ,as you begin to unite with your true, divine self, you start to feel better about yourself . Finally, you can think about who YOU are, as Etta James so beautifully sang, “At Last, my Love has come Along!”
Do you want to feel better about yourself? Would you like to love yourself at a deep core level? Book a Self Love Transformation now! All Transformations can be booked on the Buy now page or click here to purchase this incredibly popular option.